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The land of the free and the home of the brave

In today’s Fiver: USA! USA!! USA!!!, Marlon Harewood’s birthday, meta-pedantry and can anybody bring down the Bayern death star?...

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Filling the Abou Diaby void

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A tiny violin playing from a penthouse in an ivory tower atop Montmartre

In today’s Fiver: rejecting DR Congo, Swiss rozzers and a Father Ted remix...

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Jam and jingoism

In today’s Fiver: Mr Roy rolls the dice, social media afters, and AC/DC...

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Hot chat about the folly of running negative campaigns

In today’s Fiver: Scotland, England and the dangers of rescuing cats from trees...

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What a thing. What a team. What a world

In today’s Fiver: Leicester on the brink, Wenger on the offensive and an unimpressed Eagle...

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Filling the old breeks every February and March

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They didn't get it right

In today’s Fiver: Arsenal, Sam Allardyce’s initiative, and £25m for Yannick Bolasie...

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From the sublime to the Newcastle

In today’s Fiver: Rafa’s C’Mon Toon Army, Ross County’s digital disaster and Míchel Ma Belle...

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A series of blind alleys full of hulking tattooed Martin Skrtels

In today’s Fiver: Stalinist mobilisation, Mr Roy and more unicorn chat...

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Limp, entirely predictable failure

In today’s Fiver: Arsenal, Jazz hands, and a welcome injection of celebrity...

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Fifa: replenishing its own coffers in the brazen style

In today’s Fiver: Pegguy Arphexad’s bongo denial, urine-gate, knacker-knack and Jordan confusion...

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Needle doesn’t even nearly cover it

In today’s Fiver: salted herrings, trouser touch-ups, and pod fan fiction...

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Being unveiled inside a glass prison on the wrong side of London

Today: Joe Hart, South Korean optimism and another glimpse into the world of Emmanuel Adebayor’s renowned enthusiasm...

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Portuguese manager signs three-year deal

In today’s Fiver: José Mourinho, Carlos Carvalhal and, well, Skeletor...

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A team of newborns in Manchester City-branded babygrows

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Poor, poor Stewart Downing

In today’s Fiver: burning effigies, the Iranian Messi and Pat Evra’s big balls...

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Something to cling to from the ashes of the remain campaign

In today’s Fiver: Dimitri Payet, Scottish fitba woe and more succinct reviews...

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The dirge rumbled to its conclusion

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Prestige earned from 117 years sold to some soap vendor

In today’s Fiver: Milanese dignity, five things Quique learned, and Bobby M...

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