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Poor, poor Stewart Downing

In today’s Fiver: burning effigies, the Iranian Messi and Pat Evra’s big balls...

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The least intimidating quartet sent into Euro action from these shores since...

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Some unspecified but no doubt bantertastic forfeit

In today’s Fiver: England’s Euros countdown, a settlement, and Dulwich Hamlet...

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A series of blind alleys full of hulking tattooed Martin Skrtels

In today’s Fiver: Stalinist mobilisation, Mr Roy and more unicorn chat...

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Everything should turn out just fine

In today’s Fiver: Gareth Bale’s burger, Xherdan Shaqiri’s rubber worries and the return of Brendan Rodgers’ teeth...

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Staggeringly unfunny

In today’s Fiver: David Moyes, the order of Anfield’s coloured doors and more...

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A long overdue hoof up the hole

In today’s Fiver: Aston Villa, Dani Alves and Max Kruse’s big night out...

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Dissolving into a pool of hot tears

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Better strikers than Christian Benteke

In today’s Fiver: Liverpool, blatant dishonesty, and the suit + shorts combo...

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We all know what happens next

In today’s Fiver: the circle of England life, KWS and a bumper set of letters...

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Sipping margaritas and generally gadding about in the foamy surf

In today’s Fiver: Chelsea, personality tests, accountancy and nerds...

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Germany’s captain and the Nazi effigy

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Premier League teams taking their holidays mid-season

In today’s Fiver: Arsenal, Man City and Jamie Redknapp’s powers of divination...

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A history of stratospheric balls-ups

Today: London’s most searching exploration of pipe dreams since Kevin Spacey starred in The Iceman Cometh at the Old Vic...

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All is as well as it can be in a world where you’ve just been hosed again

In today’s Fiver: GK Chesterton, Hereford FC and football stopped in Argentina...

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The delirious sense of ongoing bidness

Today: a feast of Fifa economics, football activities in Sydney and lots of Ian Marshall...

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Liverpool confident of signing Mario Götze because of Klopp connection

• Götze’s career at Bayern Munich has stalled...

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They didn't get it right

In today’s Fiver: Arsenal, Sam Allardyce’s initiative, and £25m for Yannick Bolasie...

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THE INSIDE TRACK: Liverpool (Southampton Football Club Ltd)

(Source: Southampton Football Club Ltd) What has the arrival of Jürgen Klopp done for Liverpool? Jürgen Klopp has given Liverpool fans belief again. Although Brendan Rodgers had taken the team to the...

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Tearful Klopp: Dortmund exit so hard to deal with

The BVB boss has bowed out with a defeat in the DFB-Pokal final to Wolfsburg and he admits he is finding it hard to keep his emotions in check as he nears his departure Jurgen Klopp admits that...

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