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The ice-cold tomb of an existential crisis

In today’s Fiver: David Moyes gets the old Merseybeat band back together...

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The best and worst of Mourinho

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Turning a World Cup into something resembling the 1970s NASL

In today’s Fiver: Sepp Blatter, Jürgen Klopp’s phone farrago and a stadium named Wanda...

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Taking note of which way the wind is blowing and acting accordingly for an...

In today’s Fiver: furiously booting each other in the swingers, Karim Benzema reacts well and bumper letters section in ‘praise’ of Arsenal...

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Light aircraft trailing contradictory slogans managing to annoy everyone

Today: International Day of Happiness v International International Week of Unhappiness, politically populist David Moyes and more...

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This one has Sunderland written all over it

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Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool remind English football what it is good at

Gegenpressing, a more evolved version of closing opponents down, is what should have developed in England had we not lost faith in our own methods...

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Philistine opponents refusing to observe the tradition of rolling over

In today’s Fiver: the Haggis of Unpalatable Truths, Fifa-bashing and leaks...

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Searing piffle

In today’s Fiver: the Championship, Pep’s ‘mole’ and more underdogs in Brazil...

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Won’t Somebody Think of the Gooners

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Eric Pickles, Steve Evans, Piers Morgan, Adam Lallana and Morrissey

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Violently spat out of the giant Uefa tombola

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One thing has remained the same

In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger’s hair, football Einsteins and more...

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One man’s love for Europe’s second most prestigious knockout competition

In today’s Fiver: the north-south letters debate rumbles on, schoolmasterly exhortations and an imminent third-tier omnishambles...

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YouTube Z-listers are likely to be up in arms

In today’s Fiver: Arsenal head to Chelsea, plus gate-gate and Bondz N’Gala...

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An immortal blob of energy imparting wisdom from space

In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger, the great Raymond Kopa and much more...

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The cultural vandalism of picking Marouane Fellaini

In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, Big Vase, Yann M’Vila’s axe and more...

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Well-coiffured and dressed in the finest Italian linens

In today’s Fiver: The Paul Pogba Transfer Saga, the Premier League’s big spenders and guaranteed five-a-side success...

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The least intimidating quartet sent into Euro action from these shores since...

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Some unspecified but no doubt bantertastic forfeit

In today’s Fiver: England’s Euros countdown, a settlement, and Dulwich Hamlet...

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