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Football transfer rumours: Mario Götze to Liverpool? N'Golo Kanté to Arsenal?

Today’s fluff is in a forgiving mood...

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This one has Sunderland written all over it

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A face-full of gnashing German metalfury

In today’s Fiver: Christian Benteke, Danish compassion, and Mad Food Poisoning...

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Eric Pickles, Steve Evans, Piers Morgan, Adam Lallana and Morrissey

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Won’t Somebody Think of the Gooners

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The best and worst of Mourinho

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Taking note of which way the wind is blowing and acting accordingly for an...

In today’s Fiver: furiously booting each other in the swingers, Karim Benzema reacts well and bumper letters section in ‘praise’ of Arsenal...

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Violently spat out of the giant Uefa tombola

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Searing piffle

In today’s Fiver: the Championship, Pep’s ‘mole’ and more underdogs in Brazil...

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Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool remind English football what it is good at

Gegenpressing, a more evolved version of closing opponents down, is what should have developed in England had we not lost faith in our own methods...

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One thing has remained the same

In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger’s hair, football Einsteins and more...

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The cultural vandalism of picking Marouane Fellaini

In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, Big Vase, Yann M’Vila’s axe and more...

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Better strikers than Christian Benteke

In today’s Fiver: Liverpool, blatant dishonesty, and the suit + shorts combo...

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A tiny violin playing from a penthouse in an ivory tower atop Montmartre

In today’s Fiver: rejecting DR Congo, Swiss rozzers and a Father Ted remix...

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Played 11, won 0, drawn 5, lost 6

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Jam and jingoism

In today’s Fiver: Mr Roy rolls the dice, social media afters, and AC/DC...

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What a thing. What a team. What a world

In today’s Fiver: Leicester on the brink, Wenger on the offensive and an unimpressed Eagle...

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From the sublime to the Newcastle

In today’s Fiver: Rafa’s C’Mon Toon Army, Ross County’s digital disaster and Míchel Ma Belle...

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Fifa: replenishing its own coffers in the brazen style

In today’s Fiver: Pegguy Arphexad’s bongo denial, urine-gate, knacker-knack and Jordan confusion...

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Doing the absolute bare minimum and hoping to get away with it

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