The Fiver | A bloke in nets who can be relied upon to catch the ball
ALISSON WONDERLAND...
View ArticlePrinting off sheets of A4 in preparation for the Premier League opener
In today’s Fiver: Philippe Coutinho, Arsenal, Danny Rose and much more...
View ArticleA foot tantalisingly close to his cakehole
In today’s Fiver: toxic blather, Zadar bus station, and Bristol Rovers’ kitchen...
View ArticleTheir unique kind of gallows hubris
In today’s Fiver: Gareth Southgate stroking his beard, Zlatan v Pep, Premier League one-appearance wonders, Ronnie Moran RIP...
View ArticleSome evil paranormal force that bears an unfounded grudge
In today’s Fiver: ravishing thrill-machines, threats of war and the 19th century...
View ArticleA tooled up gang of mercenaries armed to the teeth with ukuleles
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View ArticleA face-full of gnashing German metalfury
In today’s Fiver: Christian Benteke, Danish compassion, and Mad Food Poisoning...
View ArticleAn even bigger circus with far more comedy potential
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View ArticleFootball transfer rumours: Mario Götze to Liverpool? N'Golo Kanté to Arsenal?
Today’s fluff is in a forgiving mood...
View ArticleImplementing a two-for-one discount across his agricultural-produce range
In today’s Fiver: Dr Arsène, tiny coffees and getting knacked while celebrating...
View ArticleThe ice-cold tomb of an existential crisis
In today’s Fiver: David Moyes gets the old Merseybeat band back together...
View ArticleTurning a World Cup into something resembling the 1970s NASL
In today’s Fiver: Sepp Blatter, Jürgen Klopp’s phone farrago and a stadium named Wanda...
View ArticleIf only Patrick Vieira hadn’t selected power drive
In today’s Fiver: Big Vase, underpants, Carlos Tevez and a misty-eyed trip back to the glory days of January 2007...
View ArticleIt sounds different and special and holy
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View ArticleHere’s what you’ve missed in the last few weeks, then
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View ArticleTaking note of which way the wind is blowing and acting accordingly for an...
In today’s Fiver: furiously booting each other in the swingers, Karim Benzema reacts well and bumper letters section in ‘praise’ of Arsenal...
View ArticleCaptain Jean-Luc Picard is smack bang in the middle of most of it
In today’s Fiver: Huddersfield, Arsène Wenger and the right man at Wolves...
View ArticleLight aircraft trailing contradictory slogans managing to annoy everyone
Today: International Day of Happiness v International International Week of Unhappiness, politically populist David Moyes and more...
View ArticlePremier League teams taking their holidays mid-season
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal, Man City and Jamie Redknapp’s powers of divination...
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