Philistine opponents refusing to observe the tradition of rolling over
In today’s Fiver: the Haggis of Unpalatable Truths, Fifa-bashing and leaks...
View ArticleBreaking the space-time continuum by enjoying 136% possession
In today’s Fiver: Mark Sampson, Liverpool and an over-excited PR executive...
View ArticleEric Pickles, Steve Evans, Piers Morgan, Adam Lallana and Morrissey
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View ArticleLong stay at Liverpool would need all-party support, says Jürgen Klopp
• German believes Arsène Wenger receives unfair criticism...
View ArticleViolently spat out of the giant Uefa tombola
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View ArticleOne man’s love for Europe’s second most prestigious knockout competition
In today’s Fiver: the north-south letters debate rumbles on, schoolmasterly exhortations and an imminent third-tier omnishambles...
View ArticleOne thing has remained the same
In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger’s hair, football Einsteins and more...
View ArticleYouTube Z-listers are likely to be up in arms
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal head to Chelsea, plus gate-gate and Bondz N’Gala...
View ArticleThe mid-to-lower end of Europe’s top feeding trough
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal in the Euro Vase, a crunch game in late August, and the Fiver’s kray-zee Big Cup group predictions exposed...
View ArticleAn immortal blob of energy imparting wisdom from space
In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger, the great Raymond Kopa and much more...
View ArticleBetter strikers than Christian Benteke
In today’s Fiver: Liverpool, blatant dishonesty, and the suit + shorts combo...
View ArticleStanding around frowning and patting the top of their heads a lot
Today: the 893rd and final qualifying round for Big Cup, the challenge of Ligue 1 and the 12th team Robbie Keane always dreamed of playing for as a boy...
View ArticleThe cultural vandalism of picking Marouane Fellaini
In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, Big Vase, Yann M’Vila’s axe and more...
View ArticleFaded leviathans and down-at-heel behemoths
In today’s Fiver: Big Vase gets bigger, Accrington Stanley and Steve Davis...
View ArticleForced to do actual work to shed any light on the mysterious 18-year-old
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View ArticleThe picturesque home of the world’s best pizza and ice cream
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View ArticleA tooled up gang of mercenaries armed to the teeth with ukuleles
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View ArticleAn even bigger circus with far more comedy potential
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View ArticleIt sounds different and special and holy
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View ArticleA sofa with preferential sightlines to the Kremlin
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