Violently spat out of the giant Uefa tombola
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View ArticleOne man’s love for Europe’s second most prestigious knockout competition
In today’s Fiver: the north-south letters debate rumbles on, schoolmasterly exhortations and an imminent third-tier omnishambles...
View ArticleOne thing has remained the same
In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger’s hair, football Einsteins and more...
View ArticleYouTube Z-listers are likely to be up in arms
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal head to Chelsea, plus gate-gate and Bondz N’Gala...
View ArticleThe mid-to-lower end of Europe’s top feeding trough
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal in the Euro Vase, a crunch game in late August, and the Fiver’s kray-zee Big Cup group predictions exposed...
View ArticleAn immortal blob of energy imparting wisdom from space
In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger, the great Raymond Kopa and much more...
View ArticleStanding around frowning and patting the top of their heads a lot
Today: the 893rd and final qualifying round for Big Cup, the challenge of Ligue 1 and the 12th team Robbie Keane always dreamed of playing for as a boy...
View ArticleThe cultural vandalism of picking Marouane Fellaini
In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, Big Vase, Yann M’Vila’s axe and more...
View ArticleA team of newborns in Manchester City-branded babygrows
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View ArticlePoor, poor Stewart Downing
In today’s Fiver: burning effigies, the Iranian Messi and Pat Evra’s big balls...
View ArticleSomething to cling to from the ashes of the remain campaign
In today’s Fiver: Dimitri Payet, Scottish fitba woe and more succinct reviews...
View ArticleBiological similarities with the cockroach
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View ArticleSome unspecified but no doubt bantertastic forfeit
In today’s Fiver: England’s Euros countdown, a settlement, and Dulwich Hamlet...
View ArticleThe least intimidating quartet sent into Euro action from these shores since...
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View ArticleA series of blind alleys full of hulking tattooed Martin Skrtels
In today’s Fiver: Stalinist mobilisation, Mr Roy and more unicorn chat...
View ArticlePrestige earned from 117 years sold to some soap vendor
In today’s Fiver: Milanese dignity, five things Quique learned, and Bobby M...
View ArticleStaggeringly unfunny
In today’s Fiver: David Moyes, the order of Anfield’s coloured doors and more...
View ArticleFootlose and entitlement-free
In today’s Fiver: the spiritual heir to Matt Le Tissier, Ray Wilkins trying not to cause offence, and His breakthrough in genetics...
View ArticleA long overdue hoof up the hole
In today’s Fiver: Aston Villa, Dani Alves and Max Kruse’s big night out...
View ArticleMake like French transport labourers and throw a spanner in the works
In today’s Fiver: Euro 2016, brave fans, and popular bongo pleasure sticks...
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