Violently spat out of the giant Uefa tombola
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View ArticleOne thing has remained the same
In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger’s hair, football Einsteins and more...
View ArticleYouTube Z-listers are likely to be up in arms
In today’s Fiver: Arsenal head to Chelsea, plus gate-gate and Bondz N’Gala...
View ArticleBetter strikers than Christian Benteke
In today’s Fiver: Liverpool, blatant dishonesty, and the suit + shorts combo...
View ArticleThe cultural vandalism of picking Marouane Fellaini
In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, Big Vase, Yann M’Vila’s axe and more...
View ArticleRefreshing apathy and blind confidence
In today’s Fiver: Newcastle United, Alan Pardew, and John Peel on obstruction...
View ArticleThe hope that leads to despair when the hope is predictably extinguished in...
In today’s Fiver, the Federal Republic of Holland, the Netherlands & the Dutch, Andrei Kanchelskis and a surefire way to get sacked...
View ArticleA roll-call of garden birds
In today’s Fiver: the drama is very much and most emphatically cessant...
View Article99 Luftballons v We’ve Got a Feeling
In today’s Fiver: Germany v France, His humility, and fans being put firs … oh...
View ArticleFind out once and for all whether laughter is the best medicine
In today’s Fiver: Gylfi Sigurdsson’s dreams, Leo Messi’s salty tears, and more...
View ArticlePlayed 11, won 0, drawn 5, lost 6
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View ArticleA tiny violin playing from a penthouse in an ivory tower atop Montmartre
In today’s Fiver: rejecting DR Congo, Swiss rozzers and a Father Ted remix...
View ArticleJam and jingoism
In today’s Fiver: Mr Roy rolls the dice, social media afters, and AC/DC...
View ArticleWhat a thing. What a team. What a world
In today’s Fiver: Leicester on the brink, Wenger on the offensive and an unimpressed Eagle...
View ArticleFilling the old breeks every February and March
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View ArticleFrom the sublime to the Newcastle
In today’s Fiver: Rafa’s C’Mon Toon Army, Ross County’s digital disaster and Míchel Ma Belle...
View ArticleDoing the absolute bare minimum and hoping to get away with it
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View ArticleFifa: replenishing its own coffers in the brazen style
In today’s Fiver: Pegguy Arphexad’s bongo denial, urine-gate, knacker-knack and Jordan confusion...
View ArticleThe footballing equivalent of Chris Waddle’s hair
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View ArticleNeedle doesn’t even nearly cover it
In today’s Fiver: salted herrings, trouser touch-ups, and pod fan fiction...
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